Feedback Thoughts: Better to give AND to receive

A cat promotes positive self-image. Courtesy of Laura
Gibbs. Source: Growth Mindset Resources.

Feedback is something I've had to make myself comfortable with receiving and giving, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sometimes sting. 

I became an editor at the Daily in the spring, but even before that, was receiving comments and editing on my own work. Creating anything means you put yourself into it in some way, and at first, it was hard not to take it personally when an editor rearranged or chopped up my work. Now, as I edit others' work and continue to receive feedback on my own, it's helped me to realize that feedback is not a personal attack or somebody's way of telling you you're not good enough. It's simply people helping other people become better. 

The articles below helped me understand myself a little better and think about how to better receive feedback in the future. 

14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out of Control

This article hit home, as one big hurdle I face in taking feedback is confronting my chronic perfectionism. I work very hard not to appear "mediocre" or to disappoint expectations of me, and accepting feedback is a slap in the face to those tendencies. 

This article also made a very interesting connection I hadn't thought of before: that being a perfectionist means you're very critical of others. Often, I find my own feedback for others is too harsh at first because their work doesn't measure up to my standards. I also identified strongly with the assertion that perfectionists are very all-or-nothing people, and either see themselves as huge successes or huge failures. 

In the end, this article helped me conclude that authenticity — being real, honest, and nonjudgmental with yourself and others  — is the opposite of perfectionism.

6 Bad Mental Habits That Sabotage Your Success

This article is a helpful reminder that success starts in your head and with your attitude.

Learning not to make excuses, per the first point in this article, has been huge for me. There have been many times where I've had to bite my tongue and take responsibility for a mistake rather than list all the reasons why something went wrong, and it's painful. All of these tips are really applicable to receiving feedback — don't doubt yourself, don't focus so much on others' opinions that you lose sight of your purpose, and don't put yourself down or second-guess yourself.

Especially when hearing some constructive criticism that's particularly difficult, it can be easy to tear yourself down, analyze all the ways you're not good enough, or make excuses for your performance. Moving past those mental blocks, being kind with yourself, and focusing on improvement is key.