Comment Wall
Here's my comment wall and the portal to my new project site!
Introduction to a journalist
(Image Information: personal photo of my family; photo from May 2017) Hi, I'm Emma! There are many things about me you couldn't get from a blog post — how often I smile and laugh, how much I use finger guns in conversations, how much I truly adore Torchy's queso — but today I'm going to tell you a few things that will hopefully allow you to get to know me better. If you were to ask me what's most important to me, I'd have to tell you it's the people in my life. My family members (my parents and my little brother) are my best friends. They live about 900 miles away from me right now in Atlanta, Georgia, where we've been for the last two years, so any time I get to spend with them is very sweet. (Image information: personal photo, my friend Devin and me; photo from September 2016) My immediate family isn't my only "family"— my best friend, Devin, has been with me since seventh grade. We're long distance as well, as s...
Hi Emma!
ReplyDeleteReally cool intro! It makes me excited to read the rest of your future stories! You topic really got me hooked. I would like to learn much more about the underworld examiner. Your warning against disturbing descriptions of the underworld only makes me more interested in the future stories! Your next story sounds very interesting and I hope that I get a chance to read it and all the other stories that you post for your project! It sounds like you have chosen a very interesting project!
Hello Emma! Your intro is amazing. Some of my favorite story books growing up have started out similar to this. It is captivating and it makes the story feel more personal to the reader. One thing that I am a little confused about is why they are called "Obituaries from Hell." That gives a creepy and dark outline for the rest of the stories, which is cool, but then after that you go on to say that some of them are uplifting stories as well. Your story seems like it will be very exciting, and I cannot wait to read further!
ReplyDeleteEmma, this storybook project idea is so cool. I like that you're choosing to write stories about each of these characters as obituaries — you get a detached, almost omniscient perspective since you can write about these characters from a knowledgeable voice after they're in the underworld. I also like that you've chosen to keep Hermes as the same narrator throughout each obituary — I think that'll give each story a consistent tone and keep things easy to understand for the reader. I can imagine people picking up the newspaper these stories appear in and gossiping about the dead. The design of your website works nicely too with the large photos. One suggestion I would make is not centering your body text since sometimes it leaves only one word on the last line of a paragraph. You might also try a darker theme for your site to match the creepy tone of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHey there, Emma!
ReplyDeleteThis was an amazing start to the portfolio! I really love your creativity with this project! The idea of doing this as a magazine/paper is really awesome! I had not thought of or seen something like this. I commend you for that! I also really enjoyed the images that you used. The background colors and different images for each page add a really professional look to the portfolio. The first story itself was also really great! I had never heard of Ixion and the story of the creation of centaurs before. I really liked the fact that you included this in here. The amount of imagery you were able to convey was great. I thought that you included a great amount of detail and did not short the reader on details. I wonder who will be the next subject of death in next week's edition? I am eagerly waiting to see! I think it would be cool if you introduced a really bad person as the next subject of death. Or, you could make each edition include someone that is worse than the previous edition's. That would be awesome!
Hi Emma!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way that you set up your website. The pictures go great with your whole storybook idea. I can tell that you used your creativity with this project. The idea of it being a newspaper obituary for Hell is extremely interesting, and I've never heard of something like that! The stories still tell of the different characters' lives, but keep the morbid idea that they're dead and in hell now. I like how the storyteller/writer is Hermes! That way, the stories will be easy to understand coming from the same person. Also, I've never heard of Ixion, but from the author's note it looks as if you stuck true to the story, just changed the perspective of who was telling it. Is that what you plan to do for the rest of your stories, or are there some that you want to change? Are you going to choose to use characters you dislike for the future? Or is your selection decided by stories you enjoy?
Hi Emma!
ReplyDeleteI love your site, and I don't know how I've managed to not see this storybook before now. Your pictures are amazing and atmospheric. Even without having read a word, I was already prepared to read some really dark stories! Your introduction was great! You really set up what your storybook is going to be about and the directions that your stories would go. I also thought that doing them as newspaper obituaries was smart and creative. The writing was clear and tight, and your grammar in the introduction was on point. There were a couple of places within the first story, about Ixion, that just need a quick final edit: maybe a missing comma here or there. I have heard of Ixion before, but as I was reading, I realized that I never knew why he was in Tartarus. I'd only seen him referenced as a resident, and that he was lashed to a wheel. It was nice to finally get the background on what he'd done to deserve it.
Hey Emma,
ReplyDeleteGreat Introduction to your storybook! I really loved how dark it is and how you put into perspective of what was to be expected in your stories. The site itself is set up really well and how your photos are incorporated is something different that I have not seen until this post. Now as for your story it was amazing! The writing style really put me into the Greek atmosphere and I felt like I was taken back in time. If I were to add anything to the story though I would say make sure to be clear on what Tartarus is. While some might know what it is others might not. There are a lot of moving pieces in the Greek mythology and beliefs so clarifying is always good to remember. I really enjoyed reading your intro and first story though and I look forward to coming back to your storybook later in the semester to see how things end up.
Hi Emma!
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading The Tale of Ixion! It added so many different dramatic scenes and depth which was an improvement on the original story I'm sure! One thing that confused me was why Ixion mating with a cloud produced a centaur and not Zeus as a horse with Ixion's wife? But that was the only thing that confused me about this story.
You included some really great messages about the repercussions of giving the wrong people second chances. It also showed that sometimes you need to recognize when to watch someone, like when Zeus watched Ixion with his wife. I do like that Zeus was willing to give him a second chance, even though what he had done did not deserve and chances. The savagery of Zeus becoming a horse to lay with Ixion's wife after Ixion mated with the cloud that Zeus made look like his wife was epic. Well done.
Emma,
ReplyDeleteHello from the other side of this two sided class. I am in the Indian Epics class and I think we have just about commented on everyones stories so we get to come over and read some of yalls writing. I like that we get to read something different from what we have read this whole semester as I think we can add some unbiased comments on your writing from an outsiders perspective. I like the set up of your page as it is clean and easy to navigate. I was kind of taken away with how dark your writing is but i think that is the direction you want to go in. Adding in those great pictures really make your writing that much better. When you add pictures that go along with your writing it makes your writing that much better because there is a visual complement. Hope I get to read more in the future!
Hey Emma! I really enjoyed how you set the tone of your story book with your introduction. You made it have a deep dark vibe if you will which set up perfect for your story Ixion. I think in a visual sense you're doing a perfect job. I know that you've got it set up right because your pictures make for a great viewing. I loved the darkness in the sense that you portrayed Zeus and Ixion's relationship. I really enjoyed all of the detail you used in describing the events and characters thoughts. I thought that as a reader you were able to fully make the story come to live even though I have never even read the original. If I were to say anything critical I would just say that you should maybe could spread out your text for a more dramatic placing even though the pictures help enough for that. Overall great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma,
ReplyDeleteWow! I really like your set up and narrative style! The introduction was particularly well done, and the newspaper framework is a creative touch as well. About the stories, is Ixion still on the wheel or did he get off once he got to Tartarus? Also, I think the sentence "Ixion's first crime came when he neglected to pay Eioneus for the privilege of marrying his daughter Dia" could be clearer. I initially thought Dia was Ixion's daughter.
Are you familiar with Anais Mitchell's album Hadestown? It is a musical retelling of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. I always find that story so sad. If only he'd waited just a little bit! While you give a lot of detail about the characters, some more description about the actual locations - Tartarus, the Elysian Fields, etc. - might help increase the reader's view of the underworld as an alternately terrifying and beautiful place.
Hey Emma! Wow first off your website looks freaking amazing. Your pictures all carry out a beautiful theme. They all look to be from close to the same time period and the style matches beautifully with your writing style. As for your writing, holy cow! This is excellent. Your grammar is pretty freaking incredible and I love the way you write. I have a feeling that if I tried writing like you are on your website it would be pretty freaking difficult so serious props to you for making it happen! And your stories were written excellent as well. Like I said, I love that you are able to carry a feeling within your writing non stop through everything. Not once did I really see you break character and I love that! Seriously keep up what you are doing because this is one of the best storybooks I have seen so far and I am really excited to see your final additions to it!
ReplyDeleteHello, Emma! First of all I am so impressed with your website and the entire concept of The Underworld Examiner. Using a newspaper to describe your stories is such a clever and creative way to approach your storybook! My favorite part of your storybook has to be using Hermes as your writer and voice. I love how Hermes gives a glimpse into himself in the introduction and then continues to write the same way throughout each addition to The Underworld Examiner.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, as I was reading through your introduction and stories a few questions came to mind. In the story of Ixion I wondered why Zeus would possibly be motivated to invite Ixion to dine with the gods and forgive him. It seemed as though Ixion had already lived a troubled and shameful life, so how did he get the attention, forgiveness, and favor of the almighty Zeus? Maybe Zeus was intrigued with why Ixion would commit a crime so terrible.
All in all you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work.
Hey Emma,
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the story! I am really liking that you are retelling known and less-known Greek myths in different perspectives, and the fact that you are letting us know how the real myth played out. Before today, I have never even heard about Ixion!
For your Storybook's subject matter, I have to say that I am a huge fan. The fact that you can a place like the Underworld and satirize it via an obituary is really great! In Greek mythology, Hell/the Underworld are not seen as so taboo and condemning, so the fact that you can write a newsletter that is based off its exploits really resonates the feeling that a lot of Greek myths follow.
I like how in your telling of Ixion, you made Hermes non-objective in the fact that even he despised Ixion. It shows that a writer for a story can always have a bias. Whereas for the story of Eurydice, we readers can sense the sadness in his retelling of this story. Despite only being a narrator who we don't really get to know, you still are able to like Hermes through his words.
My suggestion for you to improve upon your writing is to keep following this style of writing. Hermes is just as much of a character as the people who are on their way to the Underworld. Consider making your next story about a character that Hermes himself has a personal connection to.
Other than that, great job and good luck!
Hi Emma! This is such an original idea for a Storybook! Your intro was great and I love how Hermes is the one writing these columns. Your style of writing is great and allows these stories to really have some life put back into them (pun unintended). Your first story about Ixion was a great one to start with and I love how much Hermes and everyone else dislikes him. I thought the title of "not gone soon enough" was hilarious! Your second story about Eurydice was unexpected for me just because I thought they were all going to be about villains. I liked how you changed the tone from the kind of aggressive and angry one used in the first story to one of sadness and pity. You feel bad for her because it's not really her fault that she is dead. I thought the differences in the two stories was nice. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Emma,
ReplyDeleteI really like your project theme of Hermes making obituaries for people who enter the Underworld. I like in your introduction how you explained information about the underworld and also let readers know what the other stories would be about. I also like how you signed off Hermes naming, listing all of his traits, some of them I did not know about. I “read on” button at the bottom of the introduction made the transition to the next story very easy. I am not sure how hard it is to add them but it would be nice if they were on the Ixion page taking the reader to the Eurydice page. In Ixion story, I noticed in the second time Hermes explains what Ixion was in his life that you broke it up into two sentences. I was not sure if it was intentional or not and was a little confused. The last story, Eurydice, was truly moving. The way Hermes tells the story of the couple’s sad fate, takes readers into the story of the lover. I also liked how you pointed out in the author’s notes that any separation of death brings sadness to those they loved. Your final project is looking great. I really enjoyed reading them!
Hi Emma!
ReplyDeleteAt first when I read the title of your project I thought to myself how this type of writing would turn out. An obituary for your writing scheme? If anything this blew anything I expected out of the water. I love you writing style. Hermes was a great character to choose as your recurring speaker. He is a messenger of the gods and fit for the position of taking the dead to the Underworld. The amount of detail and imagery gave me a great sense of what I was imagining. You also did a very good job of entailing each characters emotion to the point where even I could feel it. The part about Orpheus begging Hades to bring his love back to life and that all of the Underworld was given a small glimpse of hope was amazing. The story about Ixion was greatly intriguing because I have never heard of Ixion before. Even though I would say I know a lot of about Greek mythology, this was the first time I found out about the creation of Centaurs. How does a cloud and a person create a half-human half-horse being? That just boggles my mind.
Emma, I’m really loving the set up for your project! The pictures are large and add a lot to your stories. I did notice that the set up for the picture on your first story seems to be different from the others. I enjoy the way you tell this from Hermes’s perspective. It definitely gives each story a new spin even if you don’t change it much. I agree with him that Ixion should be punished severely, but I felt bad for his wife. Her husband brutally murdered her father and then she was tricked into sleeping with Zeus and having his child. I like that, in the second story, there is the possibility for a happy ending. I’d heard the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice before, but it was always sad and hopeless. Here, they have a chance to be reunited for eternity. That is, if Orpheus remains pure enough to join her in the Elysian Fields. What if he did something bad in his mourning of Eurydice? Then, he might end up in Tartarus and he’d never see her again. It’s an idea, but I really hope that you don’t change your ending. Very nice job!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was really great and I was immediately hooked to read more. Your website looks really nice and organized, the idea of the storybook is also great. I was always interested in Greek Mythology, but there was something about Hades and the Underworld that peaked my interest more than any other topic. I had never heard the tale of Ixion before, and I have to say that I am not surprised that Zeus had sex with someone in this story. I only knew a little on the origin of Centaurs, so it was definitely interesting to find out that actions that led up to it. I liked that you took in Hermes’ perspective and incorporated it nicely into the story, considering that he was a part of the judgement. The addition of an emotional speaker worked really well in the tale of Eurydice and Orpheus. I had read this tale many times before but I still felt saddened when I read your story. I can’t wait to see what more you have in store, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteEmma this is such a cool idea for your storybook! Seriously! I love the way it's organized and it's really easy to see what your goal with the project is - great job! I really enjoy the way you tell your stories because you really get to understand the full myth but through a creative presentation - narrated by hermes! I also really enjoyed your take of Eurydice and Orpheus! It's such a sad story and you really captured that, but I also think that you really emphasized that it didn't have to be sad by pointing out that they would reunited in the afterlife one day! I think hermes is a great narrator so I hope you keep him around! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHello Emma! I thought your choice for the storybook project was brilliant. I like how the stories are told from Hermes perspective, it’s a different and more creative way to tell the story from his viewpoint. From your introduction, I really liked the phrase, “may you be forewarned and examine the course of your own fate” It kind of made it feel more relatable to our sense and the detail throughout the introduction really attracted me. Your first story, Ixion, was my favorite of the two stories. The details throughout the story are impressive and almost make the story come to life. The one thing I would probably do differently, is to maybe share some insight of the torture or what Ixion is going through in the underworld so that we can get a sense of why it is so bad. Other than that I thought the stories were awesome and I’ll definitely be back later in the semester!
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how you have the picture in your second story look newspaper-like. Reading the stories, it almost feels like the story is fake. If there was really a reporter who had written this story, if it was about a real person they were writing about, I would call it fake news. Since you chose to write your story via news, it would be helpful if you put yourself in the shoes of a reporter. Make the reading as smooth and effortless as possible. Use exciting words instead of boring, mundane words. Buzz words like suddenly are helpful and allow you to encapsulate your audience. All the facts need to be there with no bias. Your subtitle is a nice touch for your pages. Also, even though having Hermes be the one to write everything is predictable. However, you explained this in the sign-out, so it isn't such a big deal. Maybe you could mix the last story up and have it about an event instead of a person.
ReplyDeleteHey Emma!
ReplyDeleteI really like the layout of your website. Also the picture selection was really great and helped to convey the general tone of what the stories would be like. Your intro also did a great job of this by telling the reader what to expect, but just no outright saying it.
You did a good job of portraying that through a character.
I read your story Ixion, and was pleased. I think you did a great job with this story by sticking to the source material and adding in your own flair. This perspective is really neat and creative. I also think that the story telling was really well done and it did seem like Hermes was telling me a story personally. Great work!
Hi, Emma! First off, I think the layout and interface of your website is wonderful, and is really appealing to the eye. It has good hints of color and aesthetic appeal, but is also simple enough to not be overwhelming. As for your stories, I thought they were written from a really creative perspective, and really enjoyed reading them. I think that your choice to structure them as letters written from Hermes really helped engage the reader, and I also really loved the way you developed your characters through Hermes' perspective. One recommendation I would have is to expand upon the authors notes - this may be an issue with me being from the other class, but I did not have as much background in the mythologies that were behind these stories. Overall, though, I think you did a fantastic job at portraying your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Emma! I'm back to comment on your storybook. I had read your first story before, so this time I focused on your second and third stories. I still love your storybook design — it's so clean and easy to read, and it displays photos to go along with your stories really nicely. In both of your stories, I think it's effective how you use Hermes as this detached, wise narrator figure who shows the different characters' folly. He's a perfectly descriptive narrator and brings the weightiness to the stories that they deserve. In the story about Tantalus, I was pretty grossed out that he would COOK his OWN SON, and I felt really bad for Demeter for accidentally eating a bite of the kid. He really deserves the underworld for that. I think someone else mentioned this in a comment above, but I think one area you could improve your stories would be expanding your author's notes to give some more background for the original stories, if a reader is unfamiliar with them. Still, since your stories are so close to the originals, that might not be necessary! Great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say first of all that I really enjoyed the layout of your overall page. It is very aesthetically pleasing and very clean and easy to read. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories as this is a topic I dont know much about. Some of the details get very creepy but I love that you put that in there because that is what keeps me interested to keep reading. Im weird like that. My favorite story was Ixion and think you did such a good job of adding detail in there to really get my imagination going to picture what was happening. I also agree though that you should maybe give more detail in your authors to give a better background for people like me who are not as knowledgable on the subject and stories. I think it would help me have a better idea of what the original story was and your ideas. Other than that, keep up the great work!
Emma,
ReplyDeleteThe layout of your Storybook is very aesthetically pleasing; the way that the pages move flows nicely, and the pictures that you have chosen provide a good foundation for whoever the story that your reading is going to be about. I also like that you've chosen Greek Mythology for your topic, simply because I'm a very big fan. Not only that, but making the choice to have Hermes be your narrator was an awesome decision. You write him in a way that parallels how I picture him, especially with his personality. However, despite this, the fact that he is narrating each story makes it harder to connect with the titled character. Making the stories a little longer would provide you more space to give us description of who the characters are and give the readers who might not know what is going on with each character some background so that they are not as confused about who the heck each of these people are. You're doing a great job, otherwise, so keep it up!
Cassidy
Hey Emma, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. I thought that the introduction was a great start and really gave a good transition into what was to come. Overall, your stories really make the reader interested because there is a lot of detail in and fun banter that makes your style of writing easy and fun to read. The layout of the introduction and stories being in letter-form was a really creative idea, along with the idea for making a newspaper involving Greek mythology. The letter idea also was a great way to introduce your character and have good character development, making him highly relatable and personable, even though he is a Greek god. I like how overall, you really take something within this Greek mythology and modernize it. Also, your pictures are really fitting and appealing. There is so much artwork out there about Greek mythology, as a suggestion maybe adding a few more pictures here or there could add some more to your project. I really did enjoy reading your project, great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Emma,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is awesome! I love the first person, and often almost vain, narrative of Hermes! It also gives plenty of information on what your story book is going to be about. All of your pictures are great as well! They totally set the tone of your story book.
Are the centaurs the offspring of the cloud-Hera and Lxion? Or Zues as a horse and Lxion's wife? Also, does Hermes really get a say in Lxion's punishment or does he just help Zeus by tying him to the wheel?
I think you did a great job carrying the tone and voice throughout all of your stories!
I didn't know that Hermes helped Hades so much. I thought he was primarily Zeus's messenger. Could you maybe include just a little background somewhere on why Hermes is helping out Hades with all these souls?
You did a great job with this! I really enjoyed the way you made Hermes tell these stories and I think the pattern of tragedies, deserved or otherwise, worked well!
Fantastic work!
Hi, Emma! I remembered being intrigued by the concept of your storybook, so I decided to revisit your portfolio and read the other stories that you wrote. I’m familiar with the simplified version of Tantalus, I was not aware of the other aspects of this character and it was interesting to learn about them. I did not know that he attempted to smuggle the food of the gods to the mortals, it does not seem like a negative thing for the mortals. I understand that for the gods this was a betrayal of sort and they were taken advantage of, which makes sense to read about it since the tale is told from Hermes’ perspective. I knew about Pelops, that he sacrificed his son to feed the gods in order to spite them. I’m glad that you chose to end the storybook with a love story with a happy ending. Also having Hermes address the readers throughout the storybook was a great format. Great job on the portfolio, I enjoyed reading it and commenting on it.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma! I read your storybook before, but at the time it only had the introduction and the first story. I'm glad I came back! I love the different stories that you've included. I especially like your choice to vary to types of person whose story you were telling. Ixion and Tantalus were terrible, Alcestis was pure and brave, while Eurydice's story is always just terribly sad. I think that eclecticism in story tone added a nice depth. Your site itself and the pictures that you use are still awesome. You did an amazing job on the overall design of this storybook. It's just really beautiful! Congratulations, you did a really great job!
ReplyDeleteYour intro was a fantastic gateway to the rest of your stories! I was highly impressed with the layout and how you stayed true to your format. It really read like an article from a magazine or newspaper, and you added just the right amount of humor for Hermes. You had a good grasp on your style all the way through the Storybook, and that kept it interesting and easy to read.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite story was with Eurydice, as I've studied her story before in the form of the opera Orpheo. I like that you stuck with the facts, but that you sympathized with the characters as any of us would. I really like that Hermes has human emotions and acts much like we would, serving justice when appropriate and giving empathy as well. I think that really adds to how your whole project reads, and gives it a great style and tone.
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